Running out of patience

I am in this hospital sitting and waiting. Watching the clock as the seconds turn into minutes, minutes turn into hours, and now the hours have turned into a day. The worst part of this all is I don't have the nerve to feel @ ease.... They got Kew drugged up, she been sleeping her life away all night into the morning/ afternoon. When I ask them wats going on the response I get is everything is fine, but the reason we are here is because inactivity. They told us the baby is not as active as she was b4 and there gonna induce the labor for her safety. But since we been here all I can say they did was drug her up 2 ease the pain. I am frustrated and nervous, had about enuff of just sitting around and waiting. I want my lil monkey 2 come out now and 4 kew 2 get unhooked from these millions of machines, I hate hospitals and I'm ready 2 go......

J.W.B. Ent

From a young age I have been what you can call the popular kid. As I got older and started hitting the party scene, I always wondered what would happen if I threw my own party. I wondered if it would be a success or a flop, but I never had the nerve to throw one. After years of promoting for friends & family, I figured I would get out there on my own. I joined forces with two of the coolest dudes you could meet, Jevon & Burns. Together we are J.W.B Ent.

We came up with the idea of throwing a party together because all three of us are pretty popular with completely different crowds. After we decided to join forces we came up with the idea of 8.8.08. Clubs thought it was a game when we said all we need is us three to sell ot the club. We got turned down by a few clubs, others offered us a deal but at a high cost. We decided we would put all our eggs in one basket and give it a shot. We went hard with promotion, ticket sales etc. To make sure we get a crazy turn out. We got one of the livest dj's in the city my son Dj Icey to hold us down. All we had to do was wait it out. As 8.8.08 came we sold that f*cking club out. 2 floors of people jam packed all due 2 the love us 3 niggas receive.
After the party, we came out ok especially since it was our first party. The club owner instantly jumped on the bandwagon, gave niggas a couple of free parties and discount rates. We got to that point all through grinding. We kicked off about 15 parties from summer to now, 08 was great but 09 we about 2 shine. We got the first party of the year kicking off feb 13th @ guesthouse with many more to follow. We gonna have this shit popping b4 the year is over.

R.I.P. SGT Watt

As the days past you would think the pain endured with the loss of my homie would lighten up some. Nah, dats how real my nigga was that I still feel like its a dream and he gonna show up one day. It seems like this is gonna be stuck in my mind until my clock stops.
When I first met the homie Kim at the age of like 12 I was ready 2 kick his ass. Part of that is because he reminded me so much of myself with the teasing and sense of humor. Henz introduced to him on the block, 1st thing out his mouth was " who is this lil nigga henry, get him off my block". In my mind I'm like is this punk ass kid serious. So I tell Henz me and my boy bout 2slap him. Henz say that just how he is, he joking but he don't know when not to. As the years went by I started 2 realize more and more just how much of a big kid he really was. There were numerous times we almost had 2 fight because he would be fucking with sum1 that didn't want to joke around. We played so much endless days of sports between basketball, football and street baseball.Its like me, henz, kim and the homie yannick were destined 2 be kicking it until we was old and grey.


Now when I go 2 the block its just me and henz.







I feel like we was robbed of a fun filled future due to his untimely death. I can say that I don't regret any of the time we spent 2gether. Also I am happy that we shared a mutual respect where we could let each other know how much we cared about each other without worrying about being a macho loser. All I can say is words can express the emptiness I feel when I think of my homie. I got him tatted on my back, and I wear my American flag hard hat everyday @ work with his name inside in his memory. June 3rd 2007 is official the turning point and worst day I experienced. Homie you will never be forgotten, we love you and miss you SGT. Kimel Watt, see you on the other side ;-(.

Kew Kew

After my past relationships the ups and downs I told myself that I would take it ez and worry bout myself. I felt as if it was too much energy being exerted working on a relationship while also trying to betta myself....... After I flapped my wings a lil and entered the BACHELOR CLUB I felt free of stress and a cloudy mind. I exelled in my career, friendships and family time. I felt instead of devoting my time to a woman I would devote my time 2 myself. I vowed to be single until I'm 25, go play the field and not get involved until my personal goals were conquered. I reached a few of my goals but have more to go, so how is it that I'm involved with my Kew (the mother of my daughter).

We both met on the vibe. We had intentions of being homies not really much more. I had an attraction 2 her though, but I told myself we gonna keep it on the homie level. Idk wat happened but between the long convos & the day I saw them long yellow legs in a dress my feelings started 2 change. We would kick it every other day after work/ skool. I pulled away from the chicks I know that wanted more than friendship in order not to jeapordize my new thing. I was rapidly catching feelings but in the back of my head denying them. (Because I vowed 2 myself 2 be single til 25). The homies were telling me "Webb u slipping, thought u said u was chillin".... My response was "I am chilling" until it was obvious I definitely wasn't. I think we both realized at the same time that our relationship grew kinda fast but didn't have any intentions of turning back. She could have ran back to old boy, or I could have ran back 2 old girl. That wasn't really an option because I believe there is a reason that your ex is your ex. Besides Nat told me she would kick my ass if I let kew kew go back 2 her ex :-(......... I feared for my life lol. Nah on some real shit tho I'm happy I met Nat & my son Mir Mir through getting close wit kew.

I live with no regrets and til this day I can say I believe I made the right decision. Me and Kisha can be light day and night from time to time but things seem 2 work out, sometimes I wanna drop-kick her but I know her anger comes out because she cares so much. Since I'm more the friendly outgoing type, very active , while she is the homebody type we bump heads. This is the majority of the problems we have, I like 2 kick it with the homies and party etc, but don't get it twisted I put my work in. I might see her more than any of my mans see there chick. We been waiting patiently for our "lil monkey" (Kaylin). This is a new chapter of life for the both of us. I'm willing to see how it will play out. My old heads tell me either one of two things will happen. Either you will become closer or more distant. Only time will tell, but I'm sure things will be fine.

what do you think

With all that we go through in the daily struggle I can honestly say that when I see a black person get over on the legal system it can be a good feeling. With that being said only time that we ever make it through the many loopholes of the system is if we are a filthy rich. I can't hate on them if they got the money and power to pay off the lawyers and if necessary the judges. Let's take T.I. for example. This man got 1 year and mad community service for multiple guns and silencers. If that was me or the average "Tyrone" from the hood just one of those guns would have gotten us 3yrs behind the "G-Wall". I am happy that T.I. got off and beat the system but is it fair that because my net worth isn't the same as his that my freedom would be taken away? Do you think he should get more time or that the average person should be given the same chance that he is.

Fork in the Road

The construction industry can be a beautiful thing in the sense that no one person is your boss. You control your own destiny. As long as you come to work everyday and do your shit you will keep your job as long as there is work. I always wanted to join this trade, but I wanted to be on the cleaner side of the work. Right now I do rough construction, my dream coming in was always to do the finish work. Why do you ask, its not because its easier. The reason for wanting to do the finish work is there is more opportunity to make extra cash, and add more years to my career (less wear & tear on the body). Anyone that tries hard enough can do rough construction such as put up sheetrock, doing sub floors etc. It takes a skilled person to do the trim work, laying tiles, crown molding etc. The option of having the skills to do these things can make one very valuable.

With all that being said knowing that I said my dream was to become a skilled carpenter should I settle for less. I have some sort of job security with my company because they have years of work lined up. But if your not 100% happy what exactly does the job security mean. Sometimes I feel like I should find a escape from my company and flap my wings elsewhere, because I feel like a caged bird sometimes. With the economy being messed up and my daughter on the way I fear trying to move on then have to spend a couple of months or weeks on the out of work list. What would you do?

MLK

Today is the day that we pay respect to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Everyone is excited because tomorrow is another big day for blacks because Obama will be sworn into office as the President of the United States. It took us to run through 43 other presidents before we got a shot at the title. I believe Obama becoming president is the best honor a civil rights activist such as MLK Jr., Malcolm X, Harriet Tubman, etc could have. During the time they were fighting to make America truly a land of opportunity. The goal seemed so far away. I wish they could see how far we came.
This is a battle that is still not won. There is still inequality in America, only difference is its disguised. Are you proud to be black everyday? Do you try to better yourself not only for personal value, but to change the stereotype of our people? Do you stand up against things that you know are wrong or unfair? Or do you just take whatever comes you way and deal with it?.
I don't feel that enough blacks are proud blacks and educated on there history. If they were there wouldn't be so many black on black crimes. Our jail system wouldn't be flooded with blacks. Everytime I turn on the tv and see "Tyrone" being escorted by police in cuffs I just smh. Even the ones that make it through the struggle still don't want to escape that lifestyle. We got millionaires going to jail ( T.I., O.J, etc). If everyone took responsibility to be a positive force for out race we would be making progress more rapidly.
I wonder why do people that don't wake up and feel proud to be black EVERYDAY act like they are on MLK Jr. Bday. All of the sudden are excited Obama won and are celebrating, celebrate Black History Month. If you need a holiday or special event to be pro black then something is wrong. I don't consider Feb black history month,because I know where I came from and where I'm going 365 days a year. Coming from a deeply rooted southern family I pay homage to the ones that came and laid there life down so that I could be a success 2day. Happy bday Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. we are all your children.

Current Mood

As of right now I can say that I feel sort of like an old man. I am working hard to get my life on track. Back in my moms crib working on killing ALL the debt and then stacking up some paper. I get up before the birds to make it 2 the daily grind, come home tired and beat. I know that since I'm grinding hard imma make it to the light at the end of the tunnel but I can't but a time frame on it. I can say I appreciate the love I got when I came back to the crib, this is a step back so that I can take two forward. I am excited that my daughter is gonna be here rather she wants to escape the belly or not (she in there chilling, lil monster is 8lbs :-D ). My life will change instantly and hopefully that will be all the light I need to bring light to my life. Its been a long 9 months, its a constant worry, I been nervous for so long just praying she comes out healthy. Soon enough I will be able to breathe easy as I watch her make her arrival. The void that I have will be filled from the day she is born. I will have a reason to smile even when it feels like the world is on my shoulders.

Construction Industry (Gotta Respect It)

This shit is a serious career. I will start by saying that the pay is great, and I'm not talking my personal income because I got so much further to go. I work amongst many people that make over 100k yearly easily. People hear that and say word how can I get down. Of course that's a natural reaction to the bread but the reality of it is you work for every dollar you make, and when you lay down at night you got aches and pains. This trade isn't built for everyone. No crybabies in construction, if you a softie get a desk job. When the middle of July hits and the weather man says we are experiencing a heat wave with temperatures of 100 for the next 5 days, guess what we still expected to show up and get the shit done. Or when we got freezing weather like this week has been we are still expected to do the same. I laughed at people who say 2day I was freezing when all they had to do was commute to there temperature controlled office, or sit in the crib. Walk a day in those boots and see how these dudes go hard EVERYDAY whether its to support them self or a family. This might not count for much since I also do construction, but I salute everybody that is on this grind every morning up by 4 and swinging a hammer by 7 52 weeks a year.

Drunken Nights

I must say in my times of kicking it with the homies I had some good times. Between the parties, chilling on the block, in the crib playing video games or just simply passing time niggas had a lot of rough nights. Alot of those rough nights can be blame on the influence of alcohol. A lot of nights that wavey juice got the best of niggas. Sometimes niggas would "Rick Ross it" ( push the limit). After a real rough nights you hear the same shit everyone says when they wake up with that hang over " I'm never drinking again". That only last until the next time the homies are all 2gether and are ready to get wavey all over again. No words can explain this so I had to post some pics.

Favorite Season of the year

I must say every season of the year is special. All the seasons have pro and cons but what season of the year is the best? Every season is fine by me but I'm gonna break down the good and the bad of each.

Winter- hopefully you are a person who can weather the storm. The cold during the winter can be brutal. Some love the cold as much as penguins, the play sports, travel, hike etc. For most normal people (lol) we tend to stay indoors during the winter. The winter is the best time to get some good sleep. Tuck yourself underneath the covers and sleep like a bear. If I didn't work outside winter could possibly be my favorite season. ( Being outside for 8 hours a day in the winter time is no joke). On the other hand I love winter clothing, the different styles of jackets, boots and sweat shirts. Winter is also boo season or cuffing season so dats a super bonus. Lay up on them cold nights and steal some body :-D. If you focusing on staying warm and inside less chances of getting into trouble... Crime drops in the winter.

Spring- this is the time when people don't know how to act. Dying for the 1st warm day so they can bust out the short pants and put away the big snorkel. Spring is great though because you kno once u hit mid april that the chances of snow or super cold days are over. So your temp ranges from 40's to low 80's so you have the option to wear what you want and go where you want. You can wear anything from shorts to a light jacket without being umcomfortable. Spring is the beginning of BIKE SEASON.

Summer- summer is the season of beauty. Flowers, gardens, the beach etc. I'm not gonna lie I hate it when the temperature is in the 90's because that is way 2 hot but anything below that is just fine. All the sexy ladies come out showing skin, dudes that wanna holla @ chicks all day love the summer. You can meet women without going 2 the club you can simply go outside. The summer clothes might be some of the flashiest clothes of the year, but I personally don't get dressed til after the sun drops. I don't like to sweat in my clothes. This season is great but can be brutal for a dude like me who once again works outside. Minus the chance of a heat wave and summer would be the best season of the year. Official BIKE season.

Fall- fall is a bittersweet season. Its a break from the crazy heat but also a rude awakening that the winter is coming. This season is when the common cold is on the rise. You can go outside and it be 80 degrees one day and 30 suttin the next. The good thing about this season is is that you can mix the wordrobe up and have different styles from day to day.

If I was forced to choose one season to be my favorite I guess I would have to pick summer. What would your pick be.

True Friends

Friend- one attached to another by respect or affection, one who one knows, likes and trust. Many people use the term friend too freely. I think people confuse acquaintances for friends. Friends are supposed to be someone real close to you. If you have more friends then you can count on both hands than you might need to re-evaluate the meaning of the word friend.

Hov said it best "you never know who your true friends are til yall both got a lil bit of money. I mean cuz yall both broke there is no strain on the relationship, yall both broke. And if you got money and he aint got no paper, he still need you so you never know how he feel about you. When yall both get some paper you'll see." Basically he saying niggas only wanna be around when they can use you as a crutch. But I feel that's only fake people, real people stay around even after they get on there feet so maybe one day they could be your crutch. The circle that you call friends, are the just around to use you as a crutch or would they help you when your down too.

What Meaning does your life have?

"If a man hasn't set something he is willing to die for, he isn't fit to live", Quote from M.L.K Jr.

When I heard this quote I started thinking. When you think of history so many of our people knew exactly what there purpose on earth was. So many of our people dedicated there life to the civil rights movement and put there life on the line on a daily basis. The only thing I kept thinking to myself what is my purpose on this earth. What is it that can say I'm willing to die for. Ten years from now where will I be in my life. Is there something that I'm really willing to die for? Does your life have a purpose. What are you living for? Are you willing to die for something? What will you stand up for? and risk your life for?

Nice Guys Finish Last

Nice guys finish last. As a youngin I never understood that statement but as time goes by more and more I understand. No1 likes that guy who says exactly what comes to mind and does exactly what he feels because they don't respect the truth. Well I can honestly say I normally say what comes to mind but there are times that I spare people's feelings. With that being said there are many times that I felt like I should express my true feelings and get it out of the way..... There are many different cases, Girls, family, work, friends should all get a taste of the raw truth instead of you worrying bout being the nice guy because plenty of time you will get burned in the long run.

You have to be able to separate the times of being the nice guy and being the bad guy. When you feel as though someone is taking advantage of you, then you have to put your foot down and let it be known. When your too nice you can be taken advantage of by the people closest to you rather its your friends or family. That's why consciousness to step back and turn into the bad guy can save you. The work field is just as bad. If your boss or co-workers think your a push over you will be doing majority of the dirty work for the bulk of your career. Once people know that you have a problem saying no, they ask more of you.

Last but not least if your too nice the opposite sex tends to realize that. For instance a guy could tell a girl he is not interested or isn't looking for a girl. If you where a rude disrespectful guy, the woman would fall back asap out of fear or being spazzed on. If your Mr. Nice guy she will push your buttons to the very end. It is simply because she knows that the nice gentleman will not tell her exactly what she needs to hear because he doesn't want to hurt her feelings. I personally learned that the nice guy approach seldomly works, so I am throwing it out the back door.

J.O Fre$h aka brother from another

Henz$ is my right hand man since I could remember. Besides my brothers I must say he is the closest homie I got, I know the nigga like the back of my hand. When my son enrolled in college upstate I looked at it as a chance for me 2 explore a new territory, meet new people etc. Basically it became a home away from home. During the time of me making these trips I realized why Henz had so much fun during his bid upstate. My son was rooming wit one of the realist niggas I ever met, Mr. JO Fre$h.

If you know me then you know I'm not really open minded to making friends with males but the homie J.O reminded me of myself. My dude is a down 2 earth nigga. Sarcastic and mad funny. But the reason me and the homie got so cool wit each other is that we both share that serious side and the grind of a mexican (lol dats aint a racist joke either.... Its just facts I respect them I never saw ne other work as hard as them). We know the difference between the serious side of life and the time 2 kick back. My son is a hard working dude on the grind. 2009 is gonna be a year like no other for my nigga. . Between the new career on the way and Baby-Fre$h coming soon its gonna be a rough year for the boy. Hopefully when he get lost along the way he already know he can holla the boy Webb for some words of wisdom. I normally don't extend my love out 2 dudes but dats a nigga I called my brother.

Sickness doesnt discriminate

A person who cared so much in an environment where so many didn't. She fought to get through to kids that have already gave up on themselves. She could have did the bare minimum to get by and make a living but this woman takes pride in helping others.

Ms. Dollinger is the meaning of a counselor. She wanted every child that she worked with to make it thru life. No matter the route they chose. Rather you wanted to be a brain surgeon or a blue collar worker, she just wants us to be the best we could possibly be. My 1st three years of high school we were just on a counselor, student basis. As senior year came she stressed to me that I'm 18 and need to start thinking like a man. She would tell me just because I only got a few classes left and I'm definitely graduating doesn't mean I should be celebrating, because life only gets harder. Instead of going home after my 3 periods of classes I began just speaking with her after I was done classes. At one point there was about 10 of her kids that would be trying 2 stuff themselves in her 5x7 office on a daily basis. We all wanted to be around her because its hard to find someone in our skool system who worked to help everyone instead of just those who were already excelling.

Its impossible to think of all the people she has touched in her lifetime. With a heart that big and smile that bright I'm sure her counseling stepped beyond the job. Even to this day I would randomly stop in Canarsie to surprise her wit my presence. We would talk for about a hour in between her running around with her busy job. It would seem like I was 18 all over. Only difference is she changed from my counselor to my life coach. Words can't express how much respect I have for this woman. She definitely is one of a kind. And its sad that I hear her health is failing. I pray for the best but we all gotta answer when the lord is calling.

Love

I stole this quote off of my homegirl's away message. "Isn't it Ironic? We ignore who adores us, adore who ignores us, love who hurts us, & hurt who loves us".............. I was gonna write a whole blog on it but it is self explanatory. My question to you is why do we push away the person who might be right under our nose and perfect for us to chase after Mr. Wrong or Mrs. Wrong? Feedback please

Why do ppl front so hard?

Sometimes I sit back and just listen to people as they speak. It could be my own friends, random people I come across commuting to work or partying. Now a days even when you turn on the television you can't escape it. What is it that I'm talking about you wonder, that would be people fronting so hard. People get so caught up in there lies that maybe even they start to believe it. Sometimes its hard to separate the real from the fake.

Most of the fronting is based on cross gender relationships. Sad to say but more men are responsible for this than the women. Guys go so hard to empress girls that they write checks there ass can't cash. It must stem from all the rap songs that talk bout $ or swagg. ( Wayne -Got $, T.I. - Swagger like us, Ron Brows- Pop champagne) I can continue but you get the picture. Dudes want chicks to believe that they balling. How bout you tell the truth asshole. Isn't it easily to tell a chick you doing aight for urself and keep it like that, rather than living a lie until she finds out your a fraud.

Sorry ladies I ain't letting yall get off that easy. How about the girls who love Ne-yo's "miss independent" but can't do shit on there own. Yall go out and spend all your time shopping, getting nice dresses and shoes for the club but can't afford to get in. I mean if $20 is to much for you to party in the city your broke ass down belong in the club. I have seen girls come 2 the club looking super fly and ready to party until the bouncer says $20 ladies..... Lol.... They make a B-line back home. Or they try to become my friend like is this your party how much can we all get in for.... I respond " $20 BITCH" lol. Only reason that I put that on blast is becuz, I hate when girls criticize a guys, clothes, jewelry, car etc. When they don't possess anything. Quick to call a dude broke, but left there house with $20.

I personally never had tolerance for the phony people. If you can't keep a promise or always the person that got the line " something popped up" I can't fuck with you. In my book that means your a bullshitter. If you used to speak often then suddenly lost contact, it might be cuz your a joker. I guess this will be my job in 09 I'm calling people's bluff. Might be a dirty job but somebody has got to do it. Will you take on the duty of pressing these jokers when you know they lying? Or will you continue to let them get away?

What does $ mean to you

We all go so hard day in and day out to make a living. With that being said is it money that makes people happy? I hear people say all the time if I hit the lotto I would be set for life. Yeah that might be true but like Biggie said more money more problems. If money is what is related to true happiness why is that the rich people are the ones overdosing or committing suicide.

Its no the cold hard cash that makes one happy. Its the comfort level that it comes with. The thought of not having to live check 2 check. Buying things you want instead of things u can afford. Taking care of your family, showering your love ones with gifts, living out your childhood dreams. That's about all money can bring you.

Money can't bring you true love, or true friendship. If you are already rich when you meet someone how will you ever know if they love you for you or your money. Money doesn't guarantee health. Doesn't bring you a true best friend, or lover. Money might cause more fake friendships than anything else. Money can honestly make ones life more difficult than you can believe. You have to fish out the real from the fake. Money can also bring envy and hate. People might want to harm you to get what you have. If money is surrounded by so much negativity then why is it the main focus of so many peoples life.

What role does money play in your life. What would you change to be rich. People sometimes say they wish they were born rich. Do you? If so you would have different parents, a different lifestyle, different friends would you trade it all to be rich?